So there I was, lounging in the slow lane of a two-lane highway at 80mph when a Beautiful British racing green Bentley blows my doors off traveling at least 120mph. Even at that speed, it had that refined composed look common to all vehicles of the landed gentry. Although I did not see him, I applauded the driver on his decision to use his stately conveyance at something more than 15% of its potential.

It occurred to me that of all the high-speed exotics that I have seen (outside of the track), most have been dawdling along in the slower lanes of the highway, or pulling in or out of some swanky establishment at walking speeds. In fact, I have seen many a Ferrari seemingly scared to exceed the speed limit even a little for fear of being pulled over with glee by some LEO who would not even glance at the preceding Toyota doing 20 over the limit. The poor owners of red sports cars and missile-shaped exotica are positively persecuted and sentenced to life at 10% of their abilities while most live large at 40% to 80% day in and day out. Something must be done !! Oh, the humanity…..

Tell you what, bring me your fast, your agile, your herds of horses yearning to be free. I will promise to exercise your athletic beast in a manner befitting its potential. I will test your electronically limited top speed to make sure it cuts in properly, I will handle your handling, I will push your peddles and press your paddles. It will be my pleasure to do so free of charge.

Then I saw the Bentley pulled over with a gleeful LEO and his prey… Perhaps if you have the dead presidents to own such beasts, you will see your way clear to deposit me and your stallion at the nearest track. Yes, that’s it. I will tour the famous race circuits of the world and take a picture of your pride and joy at said circuit and its most famous corners being properly flogged. In the paraphrased words of King Julien, “It is brilliant yes? Who among you can resist this?”


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