Regardless of whether you celebrate Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Christmas, or Festivus, tis the season of giving and receiving. If you like vintage iron, then you are no doubt hoping that you receive something that will fan the flames of your favorite passion. Here then, are suggestions in song for the loved ones and elves who are still trying to decide what to get for that special someone. The 12 days of Classicus.
On the first day of Classicus my true love gave to me, a bone stock E30 M3.
On the second day of Classicus my true love gave to me, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the third day of Classicus my true love gave to me. three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the fourth day of Classicus my true love gave to me. four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the fifth day of Classicus my true love gave to me. FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the sixth day of Classicus my true love gave to me. six pistons pumping, FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the seventh day of Classicus my true love gave to me. seven slingers slinging, six pistons pumping, FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the eigth day of Classicus my true love gave to me. eight Rennsports racing, seven slingers slinging, six pistons pumping, FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the ninth day of Classicus my true love gave to me. nine knees a draggin, eight Rennsports racing, seven slingers slinging, six pistons pumping, FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the tenth day of Classicus my true love gave to me. ten Porsches playing, nine knees a draggin, eight Rennsports racing, seven slingers slinging, six pistons pumping, FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the eleventh day of Classicus my true love gave to me. eleven alpine tour days, ten Porsches playing, nine knees a draggin, eight Rennsports racing, seven slingers slinging, six pistons pumping, FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
On the twelfth day of Classicus my true love gave to me, twelve million dollars, eleven alpine tour days, ten Porsches playing, nine knees a draggin, eight Rennsports racing, seven slingers slinging, six pistons pumping, FIVE LIGHTWEIGHT RIMS, four weber carbs, three willing friends, two Gerbing gloves, and a bone stock E30 M3.
Wayne,
Ah yes, your Christmas blog has stirred me deep from my past….I fondly remember using those high school study halls to good use…and realizing that it was futile for me to pursue a career in teaching English on any level…to wit:
Christmas is a scrunching season, if you want to move you slither…
Pushing shoving, lack of reason, people running hither thither…
Methinks one slip is quite disaster, churning masses climb the walls,
Revolving doors spin faster, faster…"who's been lifting Christmas balls?"
Ah, here comes Santa all shot down, his nerves have long gone numb.
How come the traffic jamb in town? A Volkswagen on gum!
The myriad gobs of sound diffusing…sounds as if the mob's in grief.
The multicolored lights confusing? Take Anacin for Fast Relief!
And, on another tangent…
Whilst trying to hard a patch to lay, this fuzz pulled me over yesterday, sayin'
"Sonny, I shall have to fine thee, as down through yonder hills so wine-dy,
Egads I say thee doin' ninety!"
Listen fuz, rip out you fink; no ticket for me if that's what you think,
And I popped 'er through second so my mag slicks squeelled, as down my road my '40 Ford wheeled…
Well, the fuzz was followin' close behind, but I didn't give him a bit of mind,
Since I shifted to fourth, I was doin' fine.
But Man, Speed don't bother me any more, and neither do fuz with tickets galore,
My body is cold, my engine is dead, 'cause I never saw that tree ahead…
Finis
And finally, there's that age old classic from the 50's:
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the garage, not a creature was stirring, not even a Dodge…
The tires were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas would fill-'em with air!
Bill
Dear Wayne:
Okay, what do you really think you'll get for Christmas?
Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
Dear Bill, you continue to be a treasure trove. Glad to help you regress more than usual 😉
Dear Jack,
A lump of coal is more likely 😉